Impressions of Matt Fraction and Chip Zdarsky’s Sex Criminals #3

(There Be Dildo Fights in Cumworld and [and not the sci-fi kind either])


Matt Fraction is a writer whose work I’ve always intended to read, but never got around to for varying reasons. Closest I came was his Hawkeye run after the release of the issue in which the story was told from the perspective of Pizza Dog (a dog who loves pizza) and The AV Club had an excerpt showing the very interesting page layouts employed in the issue. However, an acquaintance and fellow comic book lover bashed the entirety of Fraction’s work and that was that. Now that that acquaintance is no longer on my Facebook friend page, I am unhindered to go forth and read whatever I like, so Fraction was my first stop on my crazy-reading spree.

Though Fraction has several books out at the moment, I settled on Sex Criminals since it was only two issues into its run and the covers did enough to justify the higher than usual marked price ($3.50). I had read that the comic was about a woman and man who meet each other and find out that they share the unique ability to stop time whenever they orgasm. The two quickly bond over this since in previous sexual experiences they had always been alone in what the woman, Susie, refers to as The Quiet (while Jon maturely calls it Cumworld) following sex since they lack the ability to control their strange power.

Sex Criminals #3

Even before getting to the story at hand, Fraction fills us in with a brief summary of The Story So Far (of sex, not of the comic) following the cover to convey they overall raunchy tone of the tale within. It ends with the creation of man’s first shelter, the lovingly called jack shack.

This issue then picks up with Suze and Jon in a bank vault during their attempted robbery of the place as someone else able to enter the Quiet lays waste outside. From there, Suze takes the reader (yes, lots of breaking of the 4th wall here) to the story of Jon “getting his V-card punched,” which involves the requisite bad music and fucking on the bed that neither of the copulating party owns. Once more the story jumps forward to Suze and Jon after they  separate only to reunite for a date at a porn store.

So far, so average. The scene that really took it up for me though follows right after when during a trip to the Quiet at a local bar, Suze breaks out into a rendition of Freddie Mercury’s “Fat-Bottomed Girls” for two whole pages. Thing is though, rather than the lyrics in the word balloons, we’re treated to extensive editorial notes explaining the publisher’s inability to acquire the rights in a timely manner.

That break from the narrative left me pretty intrigued for the last few pages about what Fraction’s intentions are with this comic stylistically. However, things resume a regular narrative flavor when Jon suggests to Suze they rob the bank he works at to prevent her library’s bankruptcy, giving her the old “what’s the worst that could happen?” logic. We return to the bank where the couple is confronted by a new dildo-wielding threat, one that hopefully can take this raunchy sitcom narrative into even more interesting territory.

Read if you love How I Met Your Mother, but thinks it needs more sex jokes. Read if you like extended letters columns.


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